Shutting down

***These 1 AM posts are never cheery - for a happy post skip this one and go to the one below***

Shutting down can mean so many things.
For example:

After a long and tiring day's work shutting down can be the beginning of the best part of your day (I always say the worst day at home will ALWAYS beat the best day at the office) it could be going home to those you love, stopping at a bar for some cold and relaxing, walking a trail, or biking with a friend. In this case shutting down is something you look forward to all day long!

OR

It could be the now 16 and 0 New England Patriots shutting down the New York Giants in the final minute 9 of a gut wrenching game with people across the globe waiting to pop corks (either in celebration of a perfect season or in celebration of still being the last (and sort of only) team to do it). For me this also meant a phone call from my beloved Jarred and Ashley to cheer!

OR

It could be deciding that you don't need anybody anymore and you are tired of being the burdon and wanting to shut down your friendships if even for only a little while until you are able to give some to them and not just take.

OR

It could mean watching my mother - the one person who has always believed in me (long before I believed in myself) and the person who loves me most in all this world shut down bit by bit, not eating, not drinking, and now bruising coming out on her whole body with pain wracking her. Watching and not even able to help anymore - wishing her pain away in whatever way that can come even at the cost of even more pain for myself.

Damn shutting down! It's always a double edged sword...

1 AM is a lonely place.

Let's just forget

(all I want for Christmas...)

That I went to work after a tough Christmas and got into an office with NO computer because they "replaced" mine but forgot to give me a new one. Lets just forget that they also changed ALL my passwords so I couldn't work on anyone else's computer. Yes, lets even just forget that IT was off... Let it go... Being cranky about it just won't help :-)

So how were your holidays? Mine were interesting I guess on Wednesday all I could think of was how awful they were but now I can't even remember what wasn't perfect... So lets just forget that it was anything but perfect!

Tyler has become my favorite little subject these days (ironically at the same time I have become his favorite person). He has SO much personality and if I try to call him Tyler he stomps his little foot and tells me "You call me boy" (my pet nickname for him) and when there is more than just me around he calls me "Aunty That" because for months and months when he was saying mama, dada, nana Christy was pointing at me and saying "who is that?" and he thinks that my name is that now... He is such a little imp.


This is him and Tiki - please note my poor cat looks more than annoyed she just doesn't like babies - he was being wonderful to her and she was still mad!


And with his Christmas morning coffee???



Mom Jim and I had these great plans, we were going to make: Sugar cookies, Gingerbread men, this tree and a few other things... Well that didn't happen but we did finish this beautiful tree and we had a great family time just chatting and laughing the night away - it was wonderful



Jim and I took all the girlies to the Stone Zoo for Zoo Lights, there is something so magical about being surrounded with some of your favorite people with your breath fogging the air in front of you lights twinkling all around and animals lazily watching the world go by. It was literally like walking through a fairy tale with no words - OOOOH I think next year I will beg storytellers to go with me and have them each take a 15 minute section and have them tell me stories - ohhhhh seriously talk about life's perfection!



At the end of our fairytale walk three different random people walked up and gave each of the girls a ticket so they were able to go on a ride, it was amazing!

May your fairytale's happily ever after start right now!

How very un-Christmas of me

Okay so it is 12:30 on Christmas morning and I am not up wrapping, or baking or any of that. I am getting home from church - I admit to being a C + E christian (and if I am being honest Easter services are boring) but I look forward for months to Christmas eve's midnight mass... I have gone every year since I could drive (before that I went with my mom to the 7:00) and I prefer to go alone but the last 3 years Jim has come and last year and the year before Mom has come too...

But onto tonight's service - ever had one of those night's where EVERYTHING goes wrong? Yeah that's this night and I am blogging it so Jim doesn't have to hear me vent it!
First we were late - I am NEVER late, it's like missing the first part of a movie...Then I grabbed the first seat that I could find and it was next to a very large very smelly man and I am not trying to be judgemental but my eyes are red and sore from it. He also sang VERY VERY loudly and off-key and really how off-key are you when *I*can tell?
THEN the pastor recently resigned and so a deacon was doing the service and really he was bad, and I mean BAD!!! The message was supposed to be "enthusiastic witness" but HE wasn't even enthusiastic! Maybe it was past his bed time? Because he seemed tired.
Then he messed up the candle part - I love this part and it hasn't changed ever as long as we have gone to this church but he did it all wrong :-(
And they sang a different closing hymn - every year until now it has been JOY TO THE WORLD a classic for sure, but this year? go tell it on the mountain, are you serious?
And lastly (if I haven't bored you to tears yet) he ended at 11:55 ummmmm NO! It ends at midnight so we can all wish each other a Merry Christmas... Sigh not a very peaceful beginning.

And yes I know I am over-reacting (but it is my favorite part of the whole Christmas season) but I am giving myself a few reasons... My dog has to go for a neuro consult, are you kidding me? Don't I see quite enough neurologists?? And two there are too many presents under that damn tree with my name on them - does nobody listen to my rules anymore?

Well goodnight and Merry Christmas!

(typed on my new laptop from Mom)

It's amazing

How much work gets in the way of being a good crafter - I have had this week off (YAY) and in two days I managed to finish an entire poncho for mom's Nurse Practioner's mother. Sound a little far fetched? Well her NP mentioned when I was wearing my poncho that she should really get one for her mom because she broke both of her shoulders and getting a coat on and off was all but impossible... So I told her I would make one, she said no I said "well considering how much you have done for my mom I would love to be able to do something for your mom". I started it on Tuesday the 18th @ about 8:00 and I finished it last night around 11:53... There is at the very very least 16 or 17 hours in this thing and my eyes are crossed from working on it BUT it is DONE! I really wanted her to be able to give it to her mom for Christmas and I can say mission accomplished. As in finished complete and otherwise perfecto! I am so pleased!
So here is a picture for your viewing pleasure





Ironically I now have to go to MGH to deliver it - This was going to be an MGH free week but no such luck...
Oh well!

I love my husband

So Thursday night I had a multiple hour communte to go 9 miles by the time I got home I was fit to be tied, BUT I walked in the house to Jim saying "Hunny I bought all the ingredients to make cookies" It was even cuter because the ingredients were pre-made cookie dough and powdered sugar and then sugars and beads for the top. We had such a good time rolling out the dough and cutting shapes it really was a nice peaceful evening after a hectic commute!

Here are few pictures:

cutting out angels

Ready for the oven

Decorating

Posed eating photo by the tree

He likes it!!!

Angels we have heard on high!!!

Stars and snowflakes

Sugar cookie men

white chocolate ginger brownies made by me!!!!

I am so lucky!

I have wonderful friends and family...

I just want to give you an example of my friends this week:

- Dinners dropped off that lasted the whole week
- Daily e-cards that brought me smiles
- Coming over to put up my Christmas tree
- Emails making sure I am okay!
- Nephews who carry (bridle style) a grammy having seizures
- Coming over to celebrate mom's birthday mid-week
- Celebrating Hannukah with mom during more seizures and not making her feel bad about it!
- Phone calls to make sure I am okay with Hospice (I am not - we'll fix that)

I am so very very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and I am so very very grateful to all of you! You each make the weeks seem so very much more good than bad!

Thank you!