Well *DRUM ROLL PLEASE* the winners are:
Erin
AND
Michelle
NOBODY guessed the first vacation so I am awarding two for vacation B.
The vacation story goes a little something like this:
We woke up SUPER early and got to Logan headed to Las Vegas BUT our flight was being serviced so American Airlines put us on another flight (to Chicago) letting us know that once we got there they would get us to Vegas "straight away"
Well we got to Chicago and spent the next 29 hours on stand-by (with a few hours off to sleep (and in Jim's case swim and ride the flume) at the local hotel) at which point... American Airlines sent us home (our Vegas ready wardrobe wasn't up for 40 degree Chicago...
Captain Kangaroo flew us home and I managed (with the help of GREAT meds) to not completely lose it - and Jim can now say that he has flown with me...
We decided to sqeeze the lemons (when life give you lemons - make lemonade) and go to Vermont for a few days... WELL when we got there? It was the coldest it had been all winter and Mount Snow? CLOSED... Sugaring? CLOSED... Anything else you can think of? CLOSED... So we hung out and played a lot of games and I shopped! A LOT! I SHOPPED A LOT! The stores were open... But you know what? It was a great vacation! I was with Jim and really THAT was the goal of this vacation! AWWWWWWWWW (Don't gag)
Michelle and Erin, I will be sending you little token presents from Vermont on Monday... Have a great weekend!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Vacation pictures?
Well I really can't get the pics off my camera BUT I came up with this idea... I web searched the places we were and found these pictures. Leave your guesses (There are two places here so you get two votes) good luck - there are prizes to be won :-)
Vacation A -
Vacation A -
Vacation A -
Vacation A -
Vacation B -
Vacation B -
Vacation B -
Vacation A -
Vacation A -
Vacation A -
Vacation A -
Vacation B -
Vacation B -
Vacation B -
Friday, April 11, 2008
6 non-important things
Erin tagged me for a meme….6 non important things/habits….
Here are the rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.
6 Things:
1. I refuse to buy a new car because car payments stress me out.
2. One of my favorite parts of my husband is that he makes holidays kid-like for adults and we all love it!
3. I have loved the color combination red and purple since I was 16
4. I can't figure out how to get the pictures off my camera to get them on my computer so I can blog the vacation photos.
5. I have to take one of my antibiotics with gingerale because I am convinced the bubbles will help to push the ginormous pill down (this was brought on because Jim just brought my pills over)
6. I love giving presents and don't like getting them - My sisters say it is a double standard.
I am tagging Sharon, Laura, and Danielle.
Here are the rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.
6 Things:
1. I refuse to buy a new car because car payments stress me out.
2. One of my favorite parts of my husband is that he makes holidays kid-like for adults and we all love it!
3. I have loved the color combination red and purple since I was 16
4. I can't figure out how to get the pictures off my camera to get them on my computer so I can blog the vacation photos.
5. I have to take one of my antibiotics with gingerale because I am convinced the bubbles will help to push the ginormous pill down (this was brought on because Jim just brought my pills over)
6. I love giving presents and don't like getting them - My sisters say it is a double standard.
I am tagging Sharon, Laura, and Danielle.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
A fun quiz - you know you want to do it!
What you are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you'll send out. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends and back to the person that sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends, which you might not have known.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? 27 Dresses I think
4. What is your favorite TV show(s)? Biggest Loser (on tonight)
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Who knows?
6. What is your favorite cuisine? My friend Marianne’s cooking
7. What is your middle name? Laurel
8. What food do you dislike? Most
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? The radio Theatre I have been listening to
10. What kind of car do you drive? Volvo 240DL
11. Favorite sandwich? Pickles tomatoes and onions
12. What characteristic do you despise the most? Dishonesty/self-absorbedness
13. Biggest fear? Losing the people I love
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? I don’t know I really like being home
15. Favorite brand of clothing? Brand????
16. Where would you like to retire to? Probably Chincoteague
17. First kiss? Alex maybe or Dante, I have no idea
18. Favorite sport to watch? Football or equestrian it just depends if the Pats are playing because I really like to watch them work
19. Furthest place you are sending this? I dunno
20. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? not sure
21. Person you expect to send it back first? Not sure
23. Morning person or a night person? Morning
24. What is your shoe size? 6 or 6.5 according to the shoes I bought Sunday
25. Any new news you'd like to share with us? I got nothing
26. What did you want to be when you were little? A Librarian
27. How are you today? good. getting stuff done!
28. When is your birthday? May 23
29. What is your favorite candy? Smarties
30. What is your favorite flower? Daisies or ranunculus
31. Favorite drink? Water with fruits in it (real fruits floating)
32. What are you listening to right now? Some song I don’t know
33. What was the last thing you ate? HA! A peppermint patty
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I am feeling pink today
35. How is the weather right now? cold and rainy
36. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Fred
37. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, she is so sweet!
38. Favorite restaurant? Pachino’s
40. Siblings? 3 great sisters (but only one favorite)
42. Favorite Day of the year? First day of summer
43. What was your favorite toy(s) as a child? ET
44. Summer or winter? summer
45. Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla
46. Do you want your friends to email this back to you? YES!
47. When was the last time you cried? Way too often lately
48. What is under your bed? My wedding dress and that is it!
49. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Amy
50. Favorite sound? A good story
1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? 27 Dresses I think
4. What is your favorite TV show(s)? Biggest Loser (on tonight)
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Who knows?
6. What is your favorite cuisine? My friend Marianne’s cooking
7. What is your middle name? Laurel
8. What food do you dislike? Most
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? The radio Theatre I have been listening to
10. What kind of car do you drive? Volvo 240DL
11. Favorite sandwich? Pickles tomatoes and onions
12. What characteristic do you despise the most? Dishonesty/self-absorbedness
13. Biggest fear? Losing the people I love
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? I don’t know I really like being home
15. Favorite brand of clothing? Brand????
16. Where would you like to retire to? Probably Chincoteague
17. First kiss? Alex maybe or Dante, I have no idea
18. Favorite sport to watch? Football or equestrian it just depends if the Pats are playing because I really like to watch them work
19. Furthest place you are sending this? I dunno
20. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? not sure
21. Person you expect to send it back first? Not sure
23. Morning person or a night person? Morning
24. What is your shoe size? 6 or 6.5 according to the shoes I bought Sunday
25. Any new news you'd like to share with us? I got nothing
26. What did you want to be when you were little? A Librarian
27. How are you today? good. getting stuff done!
28. When is your birthday? May 23
29. What is your favorite candy? Smarties
30. What is your favorite flower? Daisies or ranunculus
31. Favorite drink? Water with fruits in it (real fruits floating)
32. What are you listening to right now? Some song I don’t know
33. What was the last thing you ate? HA! A peppermint patty
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I am feeling pink today
35. How is the weather right now? cold and rainy
36. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Fred
37. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, she is so sweet!
38. Favorite restaurant? Pachino’s
40. Siblings? 3 great sisters (but only one favorite)
42. Favorite Day of the year? First day of summer
43. What was your favorite toy(s) as a child? ET
44. Summer or winter? summer
45. Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla
46. Do you want your friends to email this back to you? YES!
47. When was the last time you cried? Way too often lately
48. What is under your bed? My wedding dress and that is it!
49. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Amy
50. Favorite sound? A good story
Monday, March 24, 2008
Goodbye my old friend – I will miss you more than you know!
***The promised “Vacation Photo Challenge” pictures will be posted tomorrow please come back to vote – I will be sending 2 prizes out!
Last night somewhere around 11:00 my beloved Needles drew her last breath as Jim and I sat beside her talking about all the wonderful times we have had together I remembered the day I fell in love with that old bag of bones and how crazy a “weekend” it really has been.
I was twelve years old and too big for my little white pony and so it was time to find a horse – we were on limited funds which meant we were more creative than most ($600 – I still remember thinking that my mom loved me a LOT to spend her $600 in savings to get me a new horse) I looked at a large pony with one eye named chief but although he did everything I asked I just didn’t love him, and then we went to look at Bum a HUGE chestnut standardbred and although I loved how big he was and beautiful the vet said no he had heaves (horsey (heehee) asthma). There were many others the unremarkable ones – those that were meant to share someone else’s lives and hearts but not mine…
We got a call that there was a soon to be rescue in the forest and we could go look at her before they called someone to come and dispose of her, Mom and Robyn said yes I said NO (I didn’t want anybody else’s trash), I literally went there kicking and screaming. We walked down the muddy slope and Robyn and the animal control officer of the town walked by one horse and towards the barn, I looked at the horse they had just passed by and started talking to it – the poor thing was up past her knees in mud and was a skinny tiny eared little beast… She walked right up to me, and I couldn’t get over the gentleness of her eyes and the patient sweet face, mom was right behind me and I looked up at her and told her I loved this horse – that this was the feeling I was waiting for and I didn’t want to see the horse inside the barn I wanted THIS ONE – she needed me and I needed her! Sadly, mom nudged me towards the barn and for every step I took the skinny horse took the same step with me with each step I fell more and more in love! When the ACO and Robyn saw what was happening they laughed and said “I guess we don’t have to get some grain to get the horse to come to Joy” and my eyes welled with tears when I realized that THIS was the horse we had come to see the one who had already stolen my heart. In short order we learned that she hadn’t been fed in months and was eating sheep’s manure for it’s nutrients and that was all that was keeping her alive – when the person bought the house for some reason the horse had come with it and they were afraid of horses and actually called her a kid killer. The mud in her pen stole my boot when I went to hug her and was well taller than my knees – she hadn’t been allowed any shelter in the time they had owned the house and that mud was her day in and out companion. Robyn got her out of the “pasture” and brought her to me – I was in love I put a gentle leg over her skinny beyond words back and was happily sitting on my BFF a position that for the next 21 years was my safety net. A week later we were FINALLY able to pick her up and bring her home EVERYBODY was convincing me that it was just for the weekend and that then we would put her to sleep on Monday but she would die in a place that she was loved… I knew better I knew that she would indeed die in a place that she was loved but it would be a lifetime first… And it has been! Thank you Needles for giving me the best that you were, thank you for making me into the best that I can be… And last night? I kept my promise, you died surrounded by those who love you (including Robyn who promises me that God lets horses into Heaven and you and Mom are finally going on that long awaited ride) I love you – goodbye my old friend!
Last night somewhere around 11:00 my beloved Needles drew her last breath as Jim and I sat beside her talking about all the wonderful times we have had together I remembered the day I fell in love with that old bag of bones and how crazy a “weekend” it really has been.
I was twelve years old and too big for my little white pony and so it was time to find a horse – we were on limited funds which meant we were more creative than most ($600 – I still remember thinking that my mom loved me a LOT to spend her $600 in savings to get me a new horse) I looked at a large pony with one eye named chief but although he did everything I asked I just didn’t love him, and then we went to look at Bum a HUGE chestnut standardbred and although I loved how big he was and beautiful the vet said no he had heaves (horsey (heehee) asthma). There were many others the unremarkable ones – those that were meant to share someone else’s lives and hearts but not mine…
We got a call that there was a soon to be rescue in the forest and we could go look at her before they called someone to come and dispose of her, Mom and Robyn said yes I said NO (I didn’t want anybody else’s trash), I literally went there kicking and screaming. We walked down the muddy slope and Robyn and the animal control officer of the town walked by one horse and towards the barn, I looked at the horse they had just passed by and started talking to it – the poor thing was up past her knees in mud and was a skinny tiny eared little beast… She walked right up to me, and I couldn’t get over the gentleness of her eyes and the patient sweet face, mom was right behind me and I looked up at her and told her I loved this horse – that this was the feeling I was waiting for and I didn’t want to see the horse inside the barn I wanted THIS ONE – she needed me and I needed her! Sadly, mom nudged me towards the barn and for every step I took the skinny horse took the same step with me with each step I fell more and more in love! When the ACO and Robyn saw what was happening they laughed and said “I guess we don’t have to get some grain to get the horse to come to Joy” and my eyes welled with tears when I realized that THIS was the horse we had come to see the one who had already stolen my heart. In short order we learned that she hadn’t been fed in months and was eating sheep’s manure for it’s nutrients and that was all that was keeping her alive – when the person bought the house for some reason the horse had come with it and they were afraid of horses and actually called her a kid killer. The mud in her pen stole my boot when I went to hug her and was well taller than my knees – she hadn’t been allowed any shelter in the time they had owned the house and that mud was her day in and out companion. Robyn got her out of the “pasture” and brought her to me – I was in love I put a gentle leg over her skinny beyond words back and was happily sitting on my BFF a position that for the next 21 years was my safety net. A week later we were FINALLY able to pick her up and bring her home EVERYBODY was convincing me that it was just for the weekend and that then we would put her to sleep on Monday but she would die in a place that she was loved… I knew better I knew that she would indeed die in a place that she was loved but it would be a lifetime first… And it has been! Thank you Needles for giving me the best that you were, thank you for making me into the best that I can be… And last night? I kept my promise, you died surrounded by those who love you (including Robyn who promises me that God lets horses into Heaven and you and Mom are finally going on that long awaited ride) I love you – goodbye my old friend!
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Surfacing (maybe?)
As all of you know who read this blog I have taken some time off due to my world being rocked on it’s side… I am certainly not over losing my mother and suspect that I never will be – and you know what? That’s okay…. I have long said “That which does not kill us makes us stronger” I have so many things I want to talk about… Some of them I will no doubt delete before I post this so I don’t hurt any feelings (that is never my goal)
I want to tell you about my mother, I want to tell you that as everything she did in her life she left this Earth on her terms! Not cancers! I want need to tell you that she told cancer to both Fuck off and go to Hell… All the while making sure I knew that I was loved.
Sunday I woke up and spent the day with mom – not in the “sick bed” kind of way that people would think. I picked her up and carried her teeny little body to the living room and Cheryl, Alicia and I played games – at some point in there I actually commented to Cheryl that I could go on like this forever having Mom in and out and knowing that I could take care of her – I was confident in her pain management by then. Mass General had sent out it’s own doctors and they were working up plans to keep her well and comfy. She was swallowing ice chips and the occasional sip or two of Boost. I really thought she had a couple of weeks left, she was out of her constant sleep and every time someone said I love you to her she replied in kind. She sat in her chair and listened to us play games and we had a great time, just sitting by the fire loving mom and seeing her smile while she slept beside us – it was truly one of those moments where you know that everything in the world is EXACTLY where it should be. Cheryl had brought over some cinnamon apple bread and was heating it up and the scents were wafting through the house… It was living a Christmas carol! Then we got mom all settled in her bed again and they left (well in that we live 109 feet apart kind of leaving ie they were in and out all day) and with NO notice mom’s two best friends stopped by (independently and about 30 minutes apart) to talk to her and let her know they loved her (I am now convinced that she needed this in order to go) she woke up for both of them! Nothing spectacular happened and we went to bed – mom was having little cute birdie coughs that the nurse who had stopped in earlier in the day had shown me how to relax her lungs… A little after 3 AM they got worse and more frequent and I decided to sleep on the floor of her room so that I could cup her back each time she coughed more quickly… Around 7 AM it settled and I decided I would go to work and I got up dyed my hair, took a shower and went downstairs (Jim was with mom meanwhile). Then Jim got ready for work and I hung out downstairs I talked nothingness to mom and just relaxed. Jim left (he had a storytelling show) and I waited for Cheryl and while I was waiting I decided I was staying home – I just wanted to be there to enjoy the glow of the weekend a little longer and Mom didn’t look great – not awful but not great. Cheryl came over (with all her working gear) and I called my boss and IT to set up my VPN. Cheryl and I went in and looked at Mom. C didn’t love how she looked and I couldn’t find the thermometer (found it a little later after I no longer needed it) so I ran to Walgreen’s (called Hospice on the way) and grabbed a thermometer (I found a cool one that you just stick on a persons head) and a bottle of liquid tylenol (just in case) when I got back Mom’s breathing was shallow and infrequent and Cheryl and I took her temp chattering all the way. Cheryl asked her to take a breath a few times and she did and it was good – she regulated and we left her to rest (knowing that hospice was on the way – ohhh yeah I also turned up her oxygen just to give her a little help in that aspect.) I was so not worried about her that I went up stairs to work on getting my VPN set up and about 3 or 4 minutes later I heard Cheryl get up and walk to mom’s room (all of 4 steps so I got up to join her – I am fiercely jealous of anyone getting more Mom time than me) and as I hit the doorway I heard her say “Mom take a breath, Mom BREATHE” and I ran downstairs… And that was it, my life as I know it just ended, and I know that people keep thinking I had tons of warning but really I never thought it would happen… That my mom who was so full of life all of a sudden had none left to give or share, she was gone.
The day was crazy waiting on family to come say goodbye and the hearse and making decisions at the funeral home and friends and family coming over and well Mom wasn’t there – and I know that this aspect should have occurred to me but I suppose that if I am honest I was prepared for her to die but not for her to be dead, it’s so so weird! She is my mother and she is the one who is always there ALWAYS!
The next week was filled with friends and family and cards and flowers and fruit baskets and people being wonderful and it was amazing. The other thing that happened is that people frequently said things they thought was kind and considerate and really it was like a kick in the chest… I have learned so much through all of this, I have watched friends who have just been amazing and friends who don’t know what to do and are just avoiding me and friends who really want to help but don’t know how…
So much has happened since then, friends who have lost loved ones, gotten divorces, spent time in the hospital and really the world has continued to turn, mine isn’t yet… But I have to continue if only for the sake of mom… I wish that you all don’t have to go through this (but know that you probably will in some form or another) and I want you all to know I hope that I can be as wonderful for you as you have been for me.
I want to end this with something more cheery (I am after all “Joy”) so I will tell you that spring is coming and when it gets here I am ready – I have heirloom tomato seeds ready to plant (early May) and heirloom pepper seeds (late April) a watermelon kit that I am pushing and planning on starting on May 1st… And last night while I went to pick up some pellets I saw the coolest thing ever at Lowes so of course I bought it - - An ENTIRE salsa growing kit… Which I know means more tomatoes and peppers but there are also herbs (and I love growing herbs) and some green onions… I. CAN. NOT. WAIT!!! Want salsa?
Please hug your parents and let everyone you love know it…
I want to tell you about my mother, I want to tell you that as everything she did in her life she left this Earth on her terms! Not cancers! I want need to tell you that she told cancer to both Fuck off and go to Hell… All the while making sure I knew that I was loved.
Sunday I woke up and spent the day with mom – not in the “sick bed” kind of way that people would think. I picked her up and carried her teeny little body to the living room and Cheryl, Alicia and I played games – at some point in there I actually commented to Cheryl that I could go on like this forever having Mom in and out and knowing that I could take care of her – I was confident in her pain management by then. Mass General had sent out it’s own doctors and they were working up plans to keep her well and comfy. She was swallowing ice chips and the occasional sip or two of Boost. I really thought she had a couple of weeks left, she was out of her constant sleep and every time someone said I love you to her she replied in kind. She sat in her chair and listened to us play games and we had a great time, just sitting by the fire loving mom and seeing her smile while she slept beside us – it was truly one of those moments where you know that everything in the world is EXACTLY where it should be. Cheryl had brought over some cinnamon apple bread and was heating it up and the scents were wafting through the house… It was living a Christmas carol! Then we got mom all settled in her bed again and they left (well in that we live 109 feet apart kind of leaving ie they were in and out all day) and with NO notice mom’s two best friends stopped by (independently and about 30 minutes apart) to talk to her and let her know they loved her (I am now convinced that she needed this in order to go) she woke up for both of them! Nothing spectacular happened and we went to bed – mom was having little cute birdie coughs that the nurse who had stopped in earlier in the day had shown me how to relax her lungs… A little after 3 AM they got worse and more frequent and I decided to sleep on the floor of her room so that I could cup her back each time she coughed more quickly… Around 7 AM it settled and I decided I would go to work and I got up dyed my hair, took a shower and went downstairs (Jim was with mom meanwhile). Then Jim got ready for work and I hung out downstairs I talked nothingness to mom and just relaxed. Jim left (he had a storytelling show) and I waited for Cheryl and while I was waiting I decided I was staying home – I just wanted to be there to enjoy the glow of the weekend a little longer and Mom didn’t look great – not awful but not great. Cheryl came over (with all her working gear) and I called my boss and IT to set up my VPN. Cheryl and I went in and looked at Mom. C didn’t love how she looked and I couldn’t find the thermometer (found it a little later after I no longer needed it) so I ran to Walgreen’s (called Hospice on the way) and grabbed a thermometer (I found a cool one that you just stick on a persons head) and a bottle of liquid tylenol (just in case) when I got back Mom’s breathing was shallow and infrequent and Cheryl and I took her temp chattering all the way. Cheryl asked her to take a breath a few times and she did and it was good – she regulated and we left her to rest (knowing that hospice was on the way – ohhh yeah I also turned up her oxygen just to give her a little help in that aspect.) I was so not worried about her that I went up stairs to work on getting my VPN set up and about 3 or 4 minutes later I heard Cheryl get up and walk to mom’s room (all of 4 steps so I got up to join her – I am fiercely jealous of anyone getting more Mom time than me) and as I hit the doorway I heard her say “Mom take a breath, Mom BREATHE” and I ran downstairs… And that was it, my life as I know it just ended, and I know that people keep thinking I had tons of warning but really I never thought it would happen… That my mom who was so full of life all of a sudden had none left to give or share, she was gone.
The day was crazy waiting on family to come say goodbye and the hearse and making decisions at the funeral home and friends and family coming over and well Mom wasn’t there – and I know that this aspect should have occurred to me but I suppose that if I am honest I was prepared for her to die but not for her to be dead, it’s so so weird! She is my mother and she is the one who is always there ALWAYS!
The next week was filled with friends and family and cards and flowers and fruit baskets and people being wonderful and it was amazing. The other thing that happened is that people frequently said things they thought was kind and considerate and really it was like a kick in the chest… I have learned so much through all of this, I have watched friends who have just been amazing and friends who don’t know what to do and are just avoiding me and friends who really want to help but don’t know how…
So much has happened since then, friends who have lost loved ones, gotten divorces, spent time in the hospital and really the world has continued to turn, mine isn’t yet… But I have to continue if only for the sake of mom… I wish that you all don’t have to go through this (but know that you probably will in some form or another) and I want you all to know I hope that I can be as wonderful for you as you have been for me.
I want to end this with something more cheery (I am after all “Joy”) so I will tell you that spring is coming and when it gets here I am ready – I have heirloom tomato seeds ready to plant (early May) and heirloom pepper seeds (late April) a watermelon kit that I am pushing and planning on starting on May 1st… And last night while I went to pick up some pellets I saw the coolest thing ever at Lowes so of course I bought it - - An ENTIRE salsa growing kit… Which I know means more tomatoes and peppers but there are also herbs (and I love growing herbs) and some green onions… I. CAN. NOT. WAIT!!! Want salsa?
Please hug your parents and let everyone you love know it…
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Shutting down
***These 1 AM posts are never cheery - for a happy post skip this one and go to the one below***
Shutting down can mean so many things.
For example:
After a long and tiring day's work shutting down can be the beginning of the best part of your day (I always say the worst day at home will ALWAYS beat the best day at the office) it could be going home to those you love, stopping at a bar for some cold and relaxing, walking a trail, or biking with a friend. In this case shutting down is something you look forward to all day long!
OR
It could be the now 16 and 0 New England Patriots shutting down the New York Giants in the final minute 9 of a gut wrenching game with people across the globe waiting to pop corks (either in celebration of a perfect season or in celebration of still being the last (and sort of only) team to do it). For me this also meant a phone call from my beloved Jarred and Ashley to cheer!
OR
It could be deciding that you don't need anybody anymore and you are tired of being the burdon and wanting to shut down your friendships if even for only a little while until you are able to give some to them and not just take.
OR
It could mean watching my mother - the one person who has always believed in me (long before I believed in myself) and the person who loves me most in all this world shut down bit by bit, not eating, not drinking, and now bruising coming out on her whole body with pain wracking her. Watching and not even able to help anymore - wishing her pain away in whatever way that can come even at the cost of even more pain for myself.
Damn shutting down! It's always a double edged sword...
1 AM is a lonely place.
Shutting down can mean so many things.
For example:
After a long and tiring day's work shutting down can be the beginning of the best part of your day (I always say the worst day at home will ALWAYS beat the best day at the office) it could be going home to those you love, stopping at a bar for some cold and relaxing, walking a trail, or biking with a friend. In this case shutting down is something you look forward to all day long!
OR
It could be the now 16 and 0 New England Patriots shutting down the New York Giants in the final minute 9 of a gut wrenching game with people across the globe waiting to pop corks (either in celebration of a perfect season or in celebration of still being the last (and sort of only) team to do it). For me this also meant a phone call from my beloved Jarred and Ashley to cheer!
OR
It could be deciding that you don't need anybody anymore and you are tired of being the burdon and wanting to shut down your friendships if even for only a little while until you are able to give some to them and not just take.
OR
It could mean watching my mother - the one person who has always believed in me (long before I believed in myself) and the person who loves me most in all this world shut down bit by bit, not eating, not drinking, and now bruising coming out on her whole body with pain wracking her. Watching and not even able to help anymore - wishing her pain away in whatever way that can come even at the cost of even more pain for myself.
Damn shutting down! It's always a double edged sword...
1 AM is a lonely place.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Let's just forget
(all I want for Christmas...)
That I went to work after a tough Christmas and got into an office with NO computer because they "replaced" mine but forgot to give me a new one. Lets just forget that they also changed ALL my passwords so I couldn't work on anyone else's computer. Yes, lets even just forget that IT was off... Let it go... Being cranky about it just won't help :-)
So how were your holidays? Mine were interesting I guess on Wednesday all I could think of was how awful they were but now I can't even remember what wasn't perfect... So lets just forget that it was anything but perfect!
Tyler has become my favorite little subject these days (ironically at the same time I have become his favorite person). He has SO much personality and if I try to call him Tyler he stomps his little foot and tells me "You call me boy" (my pet nickname for him) and when there is more than just me around he calls me "Aunty That" because for months and months when he was saying mama, dada, nana Christy was pointing at me and saying "who is that?" and he thinks that my name is that now... He is such a little imp.
This is him and Tiki - please note my poor cat looks more than annoyed she just doesn't like babies - he was being wonderful to her and she was still mad!
And with his Christmas morning coffee???
Mom Jim and I had these great plans, we were going to make: Sugar cookies, Gingerbread men, this tree and a few other things... Well that didn't happen but we did finish this beautiful tree and we had a great family time just chatting and laughing the night away - it was wonderful
Jim and I took all the girlies to the Stone Zoo for Zoo Lights, there is something so magical about being surrounded with some of your favorite people with your breath fogging the air in front of you lights twinkling all around and animals lazily watching the world go by. It was literally like walking through a fairy tale with no words - OOOOH I think next year I will beg storytellers to go with me and have them each take a 15 minute section and have them tell me stories - ohhhhh seriously talk about life's perfection!
At the end of our fairytale walk three different random people walked up and gave each of the girls a ticket so they were able to go on a ride, it was amazing!
May your fairytale's happily ever after start right now!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
How very un-Christmas of me
Okay so it is 12:30 on Christmas morning and I am not up wrapping, or baking or any of that. I am getting home from church - I admit to being a C + E christian (and if I am being honest Easter services are boring) but I look forward for months to Christmas eve's midnight mass... I have gone every year since I could drive (before that I went with my mom to the 7:00) and I prefer to go alone but the last 3 years Jim has come and last year and the year before Mom has come too...
But onto tonight's service - ever had one of those night's where EVERYTHING goes wrong? Yeah that's this night and I am blogging it so Jim doesn't have to hear me vent it!
First we were late - I am NEVER late, it's like missing the first part of a movie...Then I grabbed the first seat that I could find and it was next to a very large very smelly man and I am not trying to be judgemental but my eyes are red and sore from it. He also sang VERY VERY loudly and off-key and really how off-key are you when *I*can tell?
THEN the pastor recently resigned and so a deacon was doing the service and really he was bad, and I mean BAD!!! The message was supposed to be "enthusiastic witness" but HE wasn't even enthusiastic! Maybe it was past his bed time? Because he seemed tired.
Then he messed up the candle part - I love this part and it hasn't changed ever as long as we have gone to this church but he did it all wrong :-(
And they sang a different closing hymn - every year until now it has been JOY TO THE WORLD a classic for sure, but this year? go tell it on the mountain, are you serious?
And lastly (if I haven't bored you to tears yet) he ended at 11:55 ummmmm NO! It ends at midnight so we can all wish each other a Merry Christmas... Sigh not a very peaceful beginning.
And yes I know I am over-reacting (but it is my favorite part of the whole Christmas season) but I am giving myself a few reasons... My dog has to go for a neuro consult, are you kidding me? Don't I see quite enough neurologists?? And two there are too many presents under that damn tree with my name on them - does nobody listen to my rules anymore?
Well goodnight and Merry Christmas!
(typed on my new laptop from Mom)
But onto tonight's service - ever had one of those night's where EVERYTHING goes wrong? Yeah that's this night and I am blogging it so Jim doesn't have to hear me vent it!
First we were late - I am NEVER late, it's like missing the first part of a movie...Then I grabbed the first seat that I could find and it was next to a very large very smelly man and I am not trying to be judgemental but my eyes are red and sore from it. He also sang VERY VERY loudly and off-key and really how off-key are you when *I*can tell?
THEN the pastor recently resigned and so a deacon was doing the service and really he was bad, and I mean BAD!!! The message was supposed to be "enthusiastic witness" but HE wasn't even enthusiastic! Maybe it was past his bed time? Because he seemed tired.
Then he messed up the candle part - I love this part and it hasn't changed ever as long as we have gone to this church but he did it all wrong :-(
And they sang a different closing hymn - every year until now it has been JOY TO THE WORLD a classic for sure, but this year? go tell it on the mountain, are you serious?
And lastly (if I haven't bored you to tears yet) he ended at 11:55 ummmmm NO! It ends at midnight so we can all wish each other a Merry Christmas... Sigh not a very peaceful beginning.
And yes I know I am over-reacting (but it is my favorite part of the whole Christmas season) but I am giving myself a few reasons... My dog has to go for a neuro consult, are you kidding me? Don't I see quite enough neurologists?? And two there are too many presents under that damn tree with my name on them - does nobody listen to my rules anymore?
Well goodnight and Merry Christmas!
(typed on my new laptop from Mom)
Thursday, December 20, 2007
It's amazing
How much work gets in the way of being a good crafter - I have had this week off (YAY) and in two days I managed to finish an entire poncho for mom's Nurse Practioner's mother. Sound a little far fetched? Well her NP mentioned when I was wearing my poncho that she should really get one for her mom because she broke both of her shoulders and getting a coat on and off was all but impossible... So I told her I would make one, she said no I said "well considering how much you have done for my mom I would love to be able to do something for your mom". I started it on Tuesday the 18th @ about 8:00 and I finished it last night around 11:53... There is at the very very least 16 or 17 hours in this thing and my eyes are crossed from working on it BUT it is DONE! I really wanted her to be able to give it to her mom for Christmas and I can say mission accomplished. As in finished complete and otherwise perfecto! I am so pleased!
So here is a picture for your viewing pleasure
Ironically I now have to go to MGH to deliver it - This was going to be an MGH free week but no such luck...
Oh well!
So here is a picture for your viewing pleasure
Ironically I now have to go to MGH to deliver it - This was going to be an MGH free week but no such luck...
Oh well!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
I love my husband
So Thursday night I had a multiple hour communte to go 9 miles by the time I got home I was fit to be tied, BUT I walked in the house to Jim saying "Hunny I bought all the ingredients to make cookies" It was even cuter because the ingredients were pre-made cookie dough and powdered sugar and then sugars and beads for the top. We had such a good time rolling out the dough and cutting shapes it really was a nice peaceful evening after a hectic commute!
Here are few pictures:
cutting out angels
Ready for the oven
Decorating
Posed eating photo by the tree
He likes it!!!
Angels we have heard on high!!!
Stars and snowflakes
Sugar cookie men
white chocolate ginger brownies made by me!!!!
Here are few pictures:
cutting out angels
Ready for the oven
Decorating
Posed eating photo by the tree
He likes it!!!
Angels we have heard on high!!!
Stars and snowflakes
Sugar cookie men
white chocolate ginger brownies made by me!!!!
Sunday, December 09, 2007
I am so lucky!
I have wonderful friends and family...
I just want to give you an example of my friends this week:
- Dinners dropped off that lasted the whole week
- Daily e-cards that brought me smiles
- Coming over to put up my Christmas tree
- Emails making sure I am okay!
- Nephews who carry (bridle style) a grammy having seizures
- Coming over to celebrate mom's birthday mid-week
- Celebrating Hannukah with mom during more seizures and not making her feel bad about it!
- Phone calls to make sure I am okay with Hospice (I am not - we'll fix that)
I am so very very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and I am so very very grateful to all of you! You each make the weeks seem so very much more good than bad!
Thank you!
I just want to give you an example of my friends this week:
- Dinners dropped off that lasted the whole week
- Daily e-cards that brought me smiles
- Coming over to put up my Christmas tree
- Emails making sure I am okay!
- Nephews who carry (bridle style) a grammy having seizures
- Coming over to celebrate mom's birthday mid-week
- Celebrating Hannukah with mom during more seizures and not making her feel bad about it!
- Phone calls to make sure I am okay with Hospice (I am not - we'll fix that)
I am so very very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and I am so very very grateful to all of you! You each make the weeks seem so very much more good than bad!
Thank you!
Friday, November 30, 2007
The things you don’t talk about
+++sorry if this is depressing, it certainly isn't meant to be it really is just a rambling curious brain+++
And with whom?
Do you have things that you just don’t talk about with certain people? Like I know most people don’t talk about sex with their mom’s, and the opening of jobs with their bosses, and tampons with men… You know it is that social or comfort barrier thing, but are there other things you don’t talk about? Or other things you just don’t talk about with some people?
I have noticed this in myself lately and I am not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad or just a thing, you know? Part of it is I am certain that I am on a different plane than some of my friends right now and who knows if we can relate with one another and then if you can’t there is that whole awkward silence and (for me at least) you realize you once again are just odd person out. I know that this is really just a rambling post about nothingness but I was just thinking about it.
But it seems to me that I have segregated myself into the person I am (I know that doesn’t make sense but follow me for a minute here) everyone that I know (are there others I don’t know about probably and I wish they would comment so I could make new friends) of who reads this is someone I know (and probably love) but with some of you I talk about crafts, and with a few I talk about my mom, and there is one person I feel like I can talk to about my house, some that I talk about marriage to and some that I chatter endlessly about jewelry to, and none that really want to hear about my horses (those people don’t read my blog), many I complain about my job to and I am sure many other facets of my life that I have separated like oil and water and I wonder why that is? Does everyone do that?
I am not complaining in the least – I am overall very happy with my life and my friendships but it occurs to me that when I die and my friends get together for a funeral (although I think I have decided to forgo) they would be like ahhh yes remember how Joy thought so much about her house before putting in the pellet stove (or appliances or whatever) and others would look at that person like really? And then they may talk about the sadness my mom getting sicker was causing me and there are some who would say “really she dealt with it so easily” and more and more I am sure – odd huh?
I am thinking if I went over to XYZ’s friends house (let’s say a friend with whom I talk about crafts – since this started as a craft blog) and said yeah so THIS is going on in my life they would probably sit and listen and be the wonderful friends that you all are but I guess that it would never occur to me.
Do you do this?
Am I alone in it?
Is there a reason we (yes I am assuming we all do this) do this?
Is it a form of self preservation?
Heck I have friends who I never told mom was sick because then I had someone to call just to chat and not think about it? You know How’s the family? Same old same old, did you see the sales that Macy’s is having on shoes? So weird…
Anyway hugs to all of you and thanks for being a facet!
And with whom?
Do you have things that you just don’t talk about with certain people? Like I know most people don’t talk about sex with their mom’s, and the opening of jobs with their bosses, and tampons with men… You know it is that social or comfort barrier thing, but are there other things you don’t talk about? Or other things you just don’t talk about with some people?
I have noticed this in myself lately and I am not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad or just a thing, you know? Part of it is I am certain that I am on a different plane than some of my friends right now and who knows if we can relate with one another and then if you can’t there is that whole awkward silence and (for me at least) you realize you once again are just odd person out. I know that this is really just a rambling post about nothingness but I was just thinking about it.
But it seems to me that I have segregated myself into the person I am (I know that doesn’t make sense but follow me for a minute here) everyone that I know (are there others I don’t know about probably and I wish they would comment so I could make new friends) of who reads this is someone I know (and probably love) but with some of you I talk about crafts, and with a few I talk about my mom, and there is one person I feel like I can talk to about my house, some that I talk about marriage to and some that I chatter endlessly about jewelry to, and none that really want to hear about my horses (those people don’t read my blog), many I complain about my job to and I am sure many other facets of my life that I have separated like oil and water and I wonder why that is? Does everyone do that?
I am not complaining in the least – I am overall very happy with my life and my friendships but it occurs to me that when I die and my friends get together for a funeral (although I think I have decided to forgo) they would be like ahhh yes remember how Joy thought so much about her house before putting in the pellet stove (or appliances or whatever) and others would look at that person like really? And then they may talk about the sadness my mom getting sicker was causing me and there are some who would say “really she dealt with it so easily” and more and more I am sure – odd huh?
I am thinking if I went over to XYZ’s friends house (let’s say a friend with whom I talk about crafts – since this started as a craft blog) and said yeah so THIS is going on in my life they would probably sit and listen and be the wonderful friends that you all are but I guess that it would never occur to me.
Do you do this?
Am I alone in it?
Is there a reason we (yes I am assuming we all do this) do this?
Is it a form of self preservation?
Heck I have friends who I never told mom was sick because then I had someone to call just to chat and not think about it? You know How’s the family? Same old same old, did you see the sales that Macy’s is having on shoes? So weird…
Anyway hugs to all of you and thanks for being a facet!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Random photo post
So here is a little of what is going on in my life ;-)
They say a picture is worth a thousand words - so here's a few grand worth of pics.
Cuddling with Tiki - this is one of my favorite things to do. How could I not with a face like that?
I am SO proud of these little presents - I always try to send my technicians a little Christmas present and I loved the look of the tower gifts this year but they were all so expensive so I made my own. I filled the bottoms with smarties and the top boxes with "candy cane" Hershey's kisses - the total cost was 2.75 each so much better than the $20 each for pre-mades.
And who says I can't cook?
Well certainly not Needles - who ate this and it was the first thing that she would eat in almost a week - she is certainly not out of the woods but will be here long enough for me to wrap my head around the fact that she needs to go!
And lastly a happy thought - this is my favorite Christmas tradition - checking out this house because every year it is such a cute little town they create!
It is officially the Christmas season
HOHOHO everyone :-)
They say a picture is worth a thousand words - so here's a few grand worth of pics.
Cuddling with Tiki - this is one of my favorite things to do. How could I not with a face like that?
I am SO proud of these little presents - I always try to send my technicians a little Christmas present and I loved the look of the tower gifts this year but they were all so expensive so I made my own. I filled the bottoms with smarties and the top boxes with "candy cane" Hershey's kisses - the total cost was 2.75 each so much better than the $20 each for pre-mades.
And who says I can't cook?
Well certainly not Needles - who ate this and it was the first thing that she would eat in almost a week - she is certainly not out of the woods but will be here long enough for me to wrap my head around the fact that she needs to go!
And lastly a happy thought - this is my favorite Christmas tradition - checking out this house because every year it is such a cute little town they create!
It is officially the Christmas season
HOHOHO everyone :-)
Monday, November 12, 2007
On protons and artwork
Well there is an artist that I have had the opportunity to enjoy the artwork of Tim Murley for the last year. His work is TNMS but I love it... And oddly Jim who likes ABSRACT loves it too - so when I found out that he was going to be at an "affordable artshow" Jim and I decided to go - affordable is 100% debatable but we went anyway. I had decided I would spend up to $150 ---- well we went over budget by 50% BUT we got a steal - another artist commented that we got a $3000 piece and the artist thinks that he mismarked it ;-0 but I am happy - we have a gorgeous piece by the artist of "Rodeo Jones" although it isn't a rodeo jones piece (they start at $8000) it is a similar style and I am SO excited. It is 13" x 56" and I can't wait to hang it in the kitchen.
The show was an experience it was PACKED - like literally we could not walk a step without being stepped on or stepping on someone else. There were 20 artists there and all were amazing and Tim's was highly popular - He was well on his way to selling out Friday night (this was a 3 day show)
Here are a few pictures - let me know what you think?
The show was an experience it was PACKED - like literally we could not walk a step without being stepped on or stepping on someone else. There were 20 artists there and all were amazing and Tim's was highly popular - He was well on his way to selling out Friday night (this was a 3 day show)
Here are a few pictures - let me know what you think?
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Moments of greatness @---}--
So, I just got out of bed to write this post (and yes I do realize that this means I have blogged four times in one week - don't get used to it) and it really isn't that significant a post but it was something that came to me in a moment of clarity...
Even in the best thing in all the world it can't be perfect all the time otherwise you wouldn't appreciate it. Not in friendships, families, jobs, animals, cars, houses, or hell even conversations do get truly true perfection. And you know what? That is perfect!!!!!!!!! If you did you'd never appreciate those moments of greatness, I mean when you get your nails done and they are flawless on day one you are oohing and awwing over them but by day three it is just normal and you don't appreciate them. I guess that's how life is. There are moments of greatness, moments of "I mink not" and there are also moment where you are up to your armpits in shit (either literal or not) and if you didn't have those you couldn't and wouldn't appreciate the days when you know that the sun is shining and the birds are singing and well life is happening just for you. And at this moment I am having one of those... A moment of greatness!
I wish you all your moments and that you appreciate them for what they are...
Even in the best thing in all the world it can't be perfect all the time otherwise you wouldn't appreciate it. Not in friendships, families, jobs, animals, cars, houses, or hell even conversations do get truly true perfection. And you know what? That is perfect!!!!!!!!! If you did you'd never appreciate those moments of greatness, I mean when you get your nails done and they are flawless on day one you are oohing and awwing over them but by day three it is just normal and you don't appreciate them. I guess that's how life is. There are moments of greatness, moments of "I mink not" and there are also moment where you are up to your armpits in shit (either literal or not) and if you didn't have those you couldn't and wouldn't appreciate the days when you know that the sun is shining and the birds are singing and well life is happening just for you. And at this moment I am having one of those... A moment of greatness!
I wish you all your moments and that you appreciate them for what they are...
Well it's official
Yup I own the house (and the mortgage that goes with it)
November second Jarred graduated from boot camp with HIGH HONORS - I am so proud! And I bought a house - he called me to congratulate me... Sigh that seemed so wrong!
The funny part of the day (for me) was that it took me almost as long to open a checking account at the bank as it did to transfer the house - - - okay okay okay I didn't have to spend ~ 45 hours in the weeks before getting everything settled so I could open the checking account (ohhhh yeah I will add in here I had to open a checking account with the bank that I got the loan through and get money direct deposited into because of my lacking credit history).
Because the build up was so much for me I assumed that it would be a long drawn out process but in reality it was 45 minutes of paper signing and then back to work, it was all rather anti-climatic I believe.
But anyway here are a few pictures of the day.
Dad selling it - I like this picture because I think he looks happy for me!
I love this picture - after 50 years Dad doesn't even have to ask mom to hold the papers - she just know and reaches a hand out automatically :-)
As John would say (OMG did I just say as John would say?) "Done did it"
*And for some reason the picture of mom signing won't upload - but know she was there and she signed and she was happy for me - actually that night we celebrated over subs (Hey it's what everybody wanted) I said something about it being a good house and mom said "well I have some bad news for you" I asked what truly afraid of the answer her reply? "I sold it today, but the new owner seems really nice maybe she'll let you live here"
And you can look forward to (or dread if you find this boring) more info on the house in posts to come - we are going to be working hard to make it a more "green" house in the months and years to come - the first change happens in November maybe one or two in December - we'll see...
November second Jarred graduated from boot camp with HIGH HONORS - I am so proud! And I bought a house - he called me to congratulate me... Sigh that seemed so wrong!
The funny part of the day (for me) was that it took me almost as long to open a checking account at the bank as it did to transfer the house - - - okay okay okay I didn't have to spend ~ 45 hours in the weeks before getting everything settled so I could open the checking account (ohhhh yeah I will add in here I had to open a checking account with the bank that I got the loan through and get money direct deposited into because of my lacking credit history).
Because the build up was so much for me I assumed that it would be a long drawn out process but in reality it was 45 minutes of paper signing and then back to work, it was all rather anti-climatic I believe.
But anyway here are a few pictures of the day.
Dad selling it - I like this picture because I think he looks happy for me!
I love this picture - after 50 years Dad doesn't even have to ask mom to hold the papers - she just know and reaches a hand out automatically :-)
As John would say (OMG did I just say as John would say?) "Done did it"
*And for some reason the picture of mom signing won't upload - but know she was there and she signed and she was happy for me - actually that night we celebrated over subs (Hey it's what everybody wanted) I said something about it being a good house and mom said "well I have some bad news for you" I asked what truly afraid of the answer her reply? "I sold it today, but the new owner seems really nice maybe she'll let you live here"
And you can look forward to (or dread if you find this boring) more info on the house in posts to come - we are going to be working hard to make it a more "green" house in the months and years to come - the first change happens in November maybe one or two in December - we'll see...
Monday, November 05, 2007
Jim's decorations
A few people asked for them so here they are... Part of Jim's decorations 07...
This year was a more hurried year for Jim decorating because he had "help" from Joey. AND the wind was awful, but overall it was pretty good.
This year was a more hurried year for Jim decorating because he had "help" from Joey. AND the wind was awful, but overall it was pretty good.
Halloween photo post
Joey was the cutest little chicken head
Alicia and Bekah had so much fun
Joey and Momma Ashley getting ready to go out
Katy in my favorite costume of the night
Mom giving out candy
Alicia is a ham I don't care what she is dressed as
Danielle as a broken Tinkerbell...
Stefanie was a purple witch
And Tyler in his last minute costume when his original costume didn't fit him! (His Daddy wasn't so happy that his son was called a cute little girl all night long)
Abby was cookin'
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