***These 1 AM posts are never cheery - for a happy post skip this one and go to the one below***
Shutting down can mean so many things.
After a long and tiring day's work shutting down can be the beginning of the best part of your day (I always say the worst day at home will ALWAYS beat the best day at the office) it could be going home to those you love, stopping at a bar for some cold and relaxing, walking a trail, or biking with a friend. In this case shutting down is something you look forward to all day long!
It could be the now 16 and 0 New England Patriots shutting down the New York Giants in the final minute 9 of a gut wrenching game with people across the globe waiting to pop corks (either in celebration of a perfect season or in celebration of still being the last (and sort of only) team to do it). For me this also meant a phone call from my beloved Jarred and Ashley to cheer!
It could be deciding that you don't need anybody anymore and you are tired of being the burdon and wanting to shut down your friendships if even for only a little while until you are able to give some to them and not just take.
It could mean watching my mother - the one person who has always believed in me (long before I believed in myself) and the person who loves me most in all this world shut down bit by bit, not eating, not drinking, and now bruising coming out on her whole body with pain wracking her. Watching and not even able to help anymore - wishing her pain away in whatever way that can come even at the cost of even more pain for myself.
Damn shutting down! It's always a double edged sword...
1 AM is a lonely place.