End of year meme

Yup another one - we all know that there isn't a meme I don't love!!!

40 Questions about 2008: An End-of-the-year meme

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Learned to Double crochet (thanks Elsa – PS in my book I am reading now there is a character named Elsa and she is a little girl so in my mind’s eye I have made her a young you)

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did and I probably will.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I don’t think so I think everybody had them in 2007 or will have them in 2009.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yup thus 2008 = the year to hate.

5. What countries did you visit?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Sanity.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
January 28th

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The fact that I earned the title “posterchild for how not to grieve”.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yup.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My PT Cruiser.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
This sounds like a cop out but quite a few people who just were (and are) amazing.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
A few people but I am not dwelling on them, they don't deserve my thoughts :-)

14. Where did most of your money go?
The house

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My nieces they continue to amaze and inspire me!

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
Going through hell

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
1. Happier or sadder? Sadder.
2. Thinner or fatter? I am going to take a pass on this one
3. Richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Found the good in life, and taken care of friendships

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Been depressed.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Haven’t spent it yet but will spend it with Jim at the movies.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
Probably Joey

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I have no cheesy answer so I will say no

23. How many one night stands in this last year?
None.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Ace of cakes…

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Heck yeah

26. What was the best book(s) you read?
Twilight

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Robert Plant and Allison Kraus

28. What did you want and get?
A new car

29. What did you want and not get?
Christy to live on “we street” - come on Christy there is still time to make this bump up one to the want and get category...

30. What were your favourite films of this year?
Wall-E

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I honestly can not remember my birthday this year – I am pretty sure I worked!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having Mom

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
“Prison garb”

34. What kept you sane?
Clearly nothing hence the prison garb

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
By fancy you mean???

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Elections

37. Who did you miss?
Mom, Needles, Tiki, Louise

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I think Louisa

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
That not all friendships are meant to last

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
And their memory’s like a train
You can see it getting smaller as it pulls away
And the things you can’t remember
Tell the things you can’t forget that
History puts a saint in every dream

Congratulations Snoppy

We all know I have somewhere in the vicinity of 1,000,000 nieces and nephews so I am frequently proud of one or another for SOMETHING (and yes breathing frequently can be that something) but last weekend Stefanie AKA Stefanopolis AKA Snoppy and her cheering team did an amazing job at the state competition and have moved on to regionals. So on November 22nd if the Methuen "B team" is in the first two of their division she will head down to DISNEY to compete in nationals (I told her if she is competing in Disney she can bet her favorite aunty will be there) so send some good luck thoughts to her and meanwhile check her out with her trophy (and missing teeth - I hadn't seen her in a couple months so the no teeth thing was making me laugh)

And she's out...

I would like to start this off with a great big thank you to many of you who emailed me to see how I was doing - I apologize for not returning most of the emails, I was working off my phone and writing back took more concentration than my little head could handle.

For the past month I have been a resident of Mass General's Blake 11 unit - this is their psychiatric ward. I was there to get "medically stable" enough to go to another hospital (which I start today @ 9:00) to work on my anorexia... Yes it took me 4 weeks (minus a couple of days to admit that I have an eating disorder). When I left my house that morning I little knew that I wouldn't be coming home for 4 long weeks... I am not sure that this will be interesting to anyone but maybe it will help somebody to think hard before they harm their body (so basically this is just a therapy session for me - but heck these days I am the queen of therapy). So this is my story (Feel free to ignore or throw away)

I have always had an issue with food - we have never been friends, I was always either eating it like there was no tomorrow or restricting it to strongly. But for a long time it was okay - we were surviving with this love hate relationship. Then in January Mom left and I lost control of everything - well everything except for what went in my mouth which was nothing but liquids - clear liquids to be exact. And I existed on this for over 8 months, but a routine visit to my doctor changed that - my blood levels were critically low and she gave me an ultimatum (at 9::45 in the morning nobody wants an ultimatum) check myself into MGH by 4:00 or she was going to "Chapter 12" me. Okay... I did what any rationally thinking person would do I said "thank you very much" and I went to work! I had therapy @ 1:00 and I talked with my therapist who wanted to drive me in and I said no I needed to do this one on my own. And then I went shopping - some things never change. I got to Mass General @ 3:00 called my therapist (please note here I haven't called Jim to let him know what's up yet) as he requested and told him I was indeed there but sitting out front I wasn't sure that I could go in. I stayed outside until 3:57 when I got a call from him saying that he had just spoken to my Dr. and she said I had 3 minutes to get in before she had the warrant for me put in place she had already called the judge.

I walked in the doors thinking I would at least check the place out and see how it was... I went to registration and they told me to go right on up to Blake 11 - I got there and talked to the admitting nurse "R" and said okay I guess I will stay I just needed to go get my clothes and laptop from my car - and that my friends is when all hell broke loose! No, you can't leave... You're here. I reply "well I haven't signed anything yet so I will just opt to not do this then" her short answer(and rather cranky in my opinion) was that my labs have already been read there and I am so medically unstable that they could easily have me chapter 12'd (and for some reason I feared this to no end) and then I would lose any rights - so it really felt like my voluntary sign in - WASN'T...

For the first 48 hours I had to wear (what I fondly refer to as the prison garb) a uniform and for the first 2 weeks I had a bed alarm because they were worried I would fall when walking. Anyway back to my clothes I fortunately had a well known roommate who had an even more well known husband and she and he saved the day by him going to my car and getting all my bags (THANK YOU!) so I at the very least had some creature comforts. I called Jim and I let him know that I was in a hospital but as I didn't want any visitors I wasn't going to tell him where. And I cried myself to sleep.

At check in I weighed 87 pounds - I have no idea how much I weigh now because when I got home last night and went to weigh myself I found that (at the E.D. doctor's advise) all scales have been removed from my home but I am thinking that I gained between 15 and 20 pounds. To answer the questions that I would have if someone else were writing this: Yes I do feel fat, yes I would love to run and get some sit ups in, yes I still have a long "weigh" to go before I am there but I am at least on the road. To make this long story shorter (and if anyone has questions please feel free to post them here or email me and I will happily answer them) I spent 3 weeks on an IV and 2.5 weeks on a feeding tube... I did many things I am not proud of (600 jumping jacks in a bathroom leads to supervised bathroom and showers just in case you were wondering), and many things I am proud of (I can say (with a small shudder) that I have an eating disorder - Anorexia if you prefer) I ate my first bite of solid food - applesauce started it all, and I kept true to myself and was as honest as I possibly could be. I made great friends - how weird to make friends on a psych ward, huh? And I got the beginning of what will be a long journey started. Although Blake 11 is the #1 psych ward in the country, Eating Disorders are not their specialty and so once I was "Medically stable" I was able to be discharged and will now go to Walden for what is called a partial hospitalization I will be there daily for the whole day time and will sleep at home - if I slide they will simply keep me there at night. I am hoping to not slide but realize that more than 90% of anorexics go back... I want to beat the odds.

I have done some amount of permanent damage to my body - my heart, my kidneys, my liver, my brain and my bones have all suffered and over the course of the next 6 - 18 months we will know how much of it is permanent and how much is repairable. My hair WILL grow back in as thick as it used to be (promises, promises). And for quite a while to come I will be seeing a Psychiatrist, my Therapist, a Nutritionist, and my Primary Care Doc weekly and if my weight slides I will be going back in - I am putting this all out there basically for self awareness so I can call myself on it. And according to my nutritionist I can expect to hate eating for months to come - it makes my stomach hurt and makes me nervous and sad (actually they prescribed something for me to take before I eat so that I don't get too nervous - gotta keep that heart stable) and I really hate eating on display so please don't be offended or worried if I don't eat in front of you...

Lastly I am working on a support group - my Psychologist says I need to have 5 nonobjective people that I can call when I am having issues so that's my next goal for the week - ohhh yeah that and cleaning the house for the Halloween party...

I wish you all peace and thank you for taking the time to read what is a boring post. I will keep it updated with what happens at the day program if anyone is interested.

“Remembered”

In 1993 I was an exchange student to Costa Rica. During those weeks I learned a lot; about Latin America, about The United States, and about myself. Before I even boarded the plane to CR, I was already a changed person. That change occurred in our briefing in DC, we went on a few “field trips” (they called them life missions) and each of them was amazing but for me none was moving and changing than the Vietnam Memorial Wall. I remember so well walking from the hustle and bustle of Washington into the area and a coolness came over me – I think it came from the silence, there were thousands of people there and yes I could hear my feet stepping lightly down, I could hear the breath expelling from me, I could hear the sadness. I looked at that wall, I saw the names, I saw my own reflection. I saw people I was with find their loved ones names and take a rubbing – all they had left of them was a piece of paper and a name, it just wasn’t enough. I left that memorial a different person than the one who went in, before I didn’t understand how many people had died for my freedom and after that I had a closer grasp on it. Of everything I experienced on this trip this is one thing I will always remember

Fast forward 15 years and Wilmington was hosting the Moving Wall and I debated if I was going to go, I had my memories and what if it disrespected them? What if it didn’t honor those who were now “my guys”? What if I had changed again and it just didn’t move me?

Well this is the weekend, September 18 – 22 the Wall will be on the common. This morning I got up early and did my workout and set off to the see the exhibit, it was amazing! It was just right… I parked a bit away and walked up and realized that my idea of going early so nobody would be there had a flaw, the high school is attached to the common and the students were there in force. At first sight I was so disappointed that I wasn’t going to get the wall to myself and then I realized something. The sound, well there wasn’t any. The students were silent as the looked at the wall, there was no games, no laughter, no sideline conversations, no cell phones, nothing – and on many of those faces I saw it happening (no it wasn’t happening in DC but in Wilmington) they were changing, their lives were changing right there. For them September 19, 2008 is a day that they will never forget…

Across the street in the 4th of July Building there is a small exhibit of art and photos by Vietnam Vets. Photos taken while they were there and paintings of their memories – it amazes me the light and happiness these paintings express – this is not doom and gloom, dire and death, THIS is life after hell – a life fought for is a life worth living.


The the photo and art exhibit their were a # of photos of the Vietnamese and all of them taken in a good light not at all in a "we want to kill you" attitude

This poem is amazing I am not sure if you can read it - but I wish it said who the author was

This is a photo of a Buddhist cemetary

The layout of all the artwork - it was amazing

Friends - and so much more

"Changed"

I have almost this exact photo of me from 1993

The view

The beginning

A reminder of respect

How long it stretches

So beautifully done

The shirt of a local lost - sad

Those aren't just names, they are people who died for what their government told them to fight for. Whether you believe in Vietnam or wars in general you have to be moved by these people who did what they were ordered to do to the best of their abilities!

What a backdrop

Nope - not going there

So Jim and I have talked forever that the worst thing would be for Mom, Needles, and Tiki to die the same year. We called it the “trifecta” of Hell. Well that hasn’t happened yet BUT Tiki has been missing since Friday. She was an outdoor cat before we got her and there was never any changing that about her. Well recently we have been seeing wolves in the yard and have been refusing to let her out at night (for her own safety) and well she got out late Thursday night (technically Friday morning) and we haven’t seen her since.

The ironic part of all this is that Tiki was owned by someone who abused her and allowed his kids to treat her worse than I would treat a doll. After the fire he came back looking for her (I would like to add in that it was well over 2 weeks later) and I had already fallen deeply in love with this kitty (and he hadn’t even named her) and had to keep her so when he asked if I had seen that “Coon cat” I said no (hoping all the while she would just stay quiet as she was in the room next to us) and he went off muttering about the money he lost because he was going to breed her (ummm no you weren’t I had already spayed her by that point) and that was the end of that.

Fast forward to Friday and I get a phone call that he had died at an interview and the wake was that night (although I didn’t like him as a person he still is the brother of one of my sister’s best friends) so I stopped in and quickly paid my respects and went on my way home – where Jim told me he couldn’t find Tik and that begins this story…

So if you could send a prayer or 20 to her coming home – I would sure appreciate it! I miss my kitty.

Friday Fill-ins

To grab it for your blog go here

1. I enjoy SPENDING TIME WITH FRIENDS, WARM DAYS, MY HORSE’S COMPANY AND MOSTLY CUDDLING WITH JIM.

2. FRIENDSHIPS is something I wonder about often lately.

3. In your heart, you knew THAT JIM WAS MEANT FOR ME FROM THE MOMENT I MET HIM.

4. Take CHRISTY, add a little RODEO and you end up with A NIGHT TO BE REMEMBERED (EVERYTIME IT HAPPENS).

5. Life has gifted me with SO MANY THINGS – HOW ON EARTH DO I PICK JUST ONE? I WILL SAY A GREAT FAMILY

6. A MASSAGE is an instant vacation.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to MY IN LAWS ARE COMING OVER AND I AM MAKING THEM DINNER – THEY ARE COMING OVER TO HELP DO THE PATIO THAT JIM IS MAKING, tomorrow my plans include BARN, BILLERICA HOMECOMING, AND MOVIES and Sunday, I want to DO A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING – BUT REALLY I WILL BE CLEANING OUT MOM’S ROOM AFTER THE DOG BED INCIDENT IT IS TIME!

Have a great weekend!

It's a beautiful thing

I *of course* mean Cameron (though he would probably prefer I call him handsome than beautiful) but I also mean having my computer, sim card and card reader all together so I can post this :-)

Okay so admittedly it's been a while (think like 4 or 5 weeks) but this summer I got the pleasure of going down to Weymouth and seeing Danielle, Craig and Cameron. OMG how cute is that kid? He will play ball with you all the day long. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when kids are this age, old enough to play with and still young enough to be mesmerised by the littlest things.

Look at that face! *This is the face I walked into - I was surprised how quickly he was friendly and playing with me, he loaded me up with balls. AND the kid is smart he can tell you which ball is which color.


Little man on a little truck *I love little kids on their ride on toys


He is such the little ham but seriously so cute


He has a serious side too, you know


Yummy! I am a big kid Momma I can feed myself. *I was shocked at what he likes to eat and that he tries new stuff - he was trying hummus when I was there, he wasn't too sure about it though. It took me a few tries to love hummus too.


I swear that I think this picture just is so the little boy that I met that day, adorable, charming, and silly


Just chillin - letting it all digest before I go back for seconds.

Bye Cameron, thanks for letting me come play with you and I hope I see you again sooner next time!

Friday Fill Ins

So this week the Friday fill in is definitely bizarre (apparently they are song lyrics) so I couldn't come up with anything good - not to mention I am sleep deprived

1. If I was to walk into your life, I WOULD WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS.

2. Catch a bright star and place it NEAR YOUR HEART AND TREASURE IT ALWAYS.

3. And you can send me TO THE MOON.

4. I AM WORKING AT IT but I'm dealing with a memory that never forgets.

5. I'm the innocent bystander / Somehow I got stuck WAITING FOR SOMETHING NEW.

6. What's keeping us apart isn't selfishness, IT IS STUFF YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to WELL SINCE IT IS 4:15 AND I AM AWAKE WITH A TOOTHACHE I AM NOW HOPING TO SEE A DENTIST - OTHERWISE A GOODBYE PARTY FOR SOMEONE I WORK(ED) WITH, tomorrow my plans include CULTUREFEST IN LOWELL AND MY SATURDAY WALK (THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE THE WEATHER SAYS I WILL BE DOING OTHER THINGS) and Sunday, I want to VISIT JOEY AND WE ARE SCHEDULED TO DO A WALK FOR ANEURISMS!

http://fridayfillins.blogspot.com/

My kind of day

Every once in a while you just need a day that is all about taking care of yourself. Giving yourself what you need to continue on… And unplanned Saturday became that kind of day for me. I went for my normal Saturday morning walk (I like to take my letters to the post on foot it just feels so low-tech and good for the world) and then on the way home my dad asked me to stop at the store and pick up a few things, I never mind that because I do carry the mail with a morsebag so I have the space. WELL apparently I was wanting some shop therapy because long story short I walked out carrying my bag and 4 plastic (EWWW) bags and headed home. No big deal, right? Yeah I live a little over 3 miles from the store and the bags weighed 34 pounds (yes I weighed them when I got home – I was wondering why my shoulders were so sore) but I made it and I felt great afterwards. And really it was a great walk I was listening to an audio book and just walking along.

Well after that I went to the barn and played with the horses (yes you read that right my friend got a horse and so I got to play with Alvin too – and I am slightly in love with him) including a small ride on the big man. Comette isn’t happy at all that I moved her stall hmmmm come to think of it neither is her old neighbor Sammy BUT I get a beautiful new tack room out of the deal (and she is only 2 stalls away from Sam so they can still see one another) so we will give it a couple week trial, cross your fingers for me here, please! Then I groomed Alvin and bathed him in fly spray and put all of his “clothes” on (he really doesn’t like flies) and popped on for a few minutes, I was surprised to see a horse that large has the same size head as Comette so I fitted him out with a newish bridle and worked on some bending exercises so hopefully fix his top-line. And then I took a few minutes to just sit and the house and reconnect with Joe and Donna – I certainly haven’t been to the barn enough lately so I have been missing out on their lives.

Can you believe that after all this I still had time to go to Boston and get on the Swan Boats?




This is something that I have been wanting to do for a while and Jim and I never have time or motivation to drive in just for a 15 minute boat tour… SO I made it more than that, I dropped my car in the garage (hey this was a stress-free day no parallel parking for me), headed over and got on the boats, they were just as much fun as I remember them and I saw some great sights. The amount of tranquility you can get sitting in a pedal powered boat watching the world (and actually two weddings) go by was amazing to me. It was over all too quickly, I contemplated a second ride but held off knowing that I would do it again sooner this time, Jim really needed to see this.


I spent the next hour and a half walking around the area surrounding the common and got a cute new Vera Bradley wallet and a VB belt as well with money my dad had given me to splurge on something for myself – Thanks Dad! And I got to see DeLuca’s Market and even did a little shopping there. It was such a “Tuscan Sun” kind of feeling.


On my way back to my car (pretty early because I had another place I wanted to hit in my day about me) I saw the famed “Make way for ducklings” and got my picture taken on them – I was such a Boston tourist ;-)

Lastly it was time to head to the Square One Mall where they were having “Movies under the stars” Sponsored by WKLB and the Square 1 Mall and if you got there early enough there was a sort of pre-show type thing.

I got there just in time to see a last few songs from Digger Dog (which was my goal – I like their music) and I got to be on Radio Disney – they were having a challenge with television theme show songs and can you believe it?

I got one! It was Charles in Charge and I used to love that show – so not only did I get to talk on the radio I got to pick a prize – I chose a holographic Hannah Montana poster for one of my nieces (ohhhh how they will fight over this). It was fun! Then I was done with walking around but there was still over an hour before the movie started so I walked down the street a bit and found a place that gave massages and they had availability for a walk in 30 minute chair massage – I was SO in on that! So I got a great massage and walked back to the car and parked where I could see the movie and just rested and waited for it to come on. Here I ought to tell you that it was a cute movie (The Bee Movie) and that I loved it but I can tell you that the first 30 minutes were really cute and the rest was not seen by me since I was nappying away the day. At the end of the movie (HA) I headed home and slept well…


Ahhhh what a great day, I hope your weekends were just as serene!

Friday Fill-Ins #87

1. When I'm sick I'm ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO JUST WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE.

2. When I take a walk, I think about EVERYTHING – CONVERSATIONS I HAVE HAD OR WANT TO HAVE, SONGS, THE FLOWERS, ETC.

3. Money can't buy happiness but it can TAKE ME TO AN ISLAND.

4. Cotton makes me COMFY WHEN IT IS SHEETS OR JEANS and leather makes me – I DON’T KNOW THAT I HAVE ANYTHING THAT IS LEATHER.

5. The strangest person/character I've had lewd thoughts about was HOTT TO ME AND ONLY ME.

6. My favorite color these days is PURPLE because IT MATCHES MOST EVERYTHING AND IF IT DOESN’T MATCH, IT COMPLEMENTS.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to GOING TO SEE MY FRIEND’S NEW HORSE AGAIN (HE ARRIVES TODAY AT NOON), tomorrow my plans include I AM PLANNING ON WALKING TO THE POST OFFICE (TRICIA YOUR PRIZE WILL BE FLYING OUT ON SATURDAY), GOING TO THE BARN AGAIN AND WORKING WITH MY OWN HORSE, AND THEN A MOVIE AT THE DRIVE IN and Sunday, I want to ARE YOU ASKING WHAT I WANT TO DO OR WHAT I WILL DO? MY IN-LAWS ARE COMING OVER AND WE WILL HAVE A BBQ, AND PLAY SOME CARD GAMES, AND I WILL CLEAN THE HOUSE SOME MORE OOOOH AND I WANT TO GET IN SOME "DANCING WITH THE STARS" ON MY WII!

Have a great weekend!

Taken from:
http://fridayfillins.blogspot.com/

Who says you can't go home?

home (h m)
n.
1. A place where one lives; a residence.
2. The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.
3. A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.
4.
a. An environment offering security and happiness.
b. A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.
5. The place, such as a country or town, where one was born or has lived for a long period.
6. The native habitat, as of a plant or animal.
7. The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted; a source.
8. A headquarters; a home base.
9.
a. Baseball Home plate.
b. Games Home base.
10. An institution where people are cared for: a home for the elderly.
11. Computer Science
a. The starting position of the cursor on a text-based computer display, usually in the upper left corner of the screen.
b. A starting position within a computer application, such as the beginning of a line, file, or screen or the top of a chart or list.


For the purposes of this post I mean # 4.



This weekend I went home, I spent 3 days at the Middlesex County 4-H Fair. My home…

Why is this place in Westford where people use outhouse type buildings (I don’t) and the food is cooked mass production and there aren’t any choices (and sausages play a big part in the food here), and the rain can make or break a soul my home you wonder? Easy, it was here that I met Jim (and subsequently where we got engaged), gained confidence (this had to do with horses not with Jim), learned that 1st doesn’t mean best and last doesn’t mean worst, that compassion is more than a word, and at the end of the day it is true what they say “it doesn’t matter if you win or lose it is how you play the game”.

For me there is something almost religious about walking onto the fairgrounds PRE-8 AM and seeing well over 100 people and their horses milling around. Closing my eyes and breathing deep I smell horse sweat, leather, manure, nerves, hay, coffee, dust, and lighter more gently the smell of cows and pigs and chickens in the background. I smell so much more than all of that, I smell peace, I smell love, I smell the bits of me that are long gone, for 3 days every good thing is there with me. There truly is no place like home.

Every year there are a few standout points for me – sometimes they are highs and sometimes they are lows.

This year’s moments:

10 dozen eggs for egg and spoon… 120 eggs to fall on the ground, is this a waste? Yes! Is it fun to watch and fun to be a part of? OMG YES! And really how cute were the little ones (under 9) hoping their little eggs would just stay on the spoon so that they could figure out how to “steer” this big horse?

Those who know me well know that I am pretty much not a mush – I am not a teary person I am a “It is what it is” type of person. BUT every single year the Cloverbud classes make me well up and every year I insist on announcing this class and every year I say the same thing “Could we all please rise and give a standing ovation to these children, they truly are the future – not only of 4-H but of the world” That is a moment every year that will make this list!

Listening to Stefanie sing the Star Spangled Banner, she is young, she is talented, she is kind and every bit of that comes through in her voice – she was truly breath-taking.

Abby coming and working the ring with me, it was great to have a few minutes of Abbers time while enjoying the horse show and really I loved introducing my quiet and gentle black belt niece to the other judges and having them look right past her blue hair and duct-taped sneakers and right into her eyes and soul. Joe informed me that with even a few kids like her the world wasn’t as bad off as we suspect. He, much like I, expects great things from this girl. When he asked her “If there was a magic button and you could get one wish no matter what it is what would you ask for?” she thought about it, she thought about it all day and then at the end of her day there she told him that she wouldn’t use the button, she had thought about asking for Granmaw back but thought it wasn’t fair to Granmaw since she was with her family and she should get to be with them. And she thought about asking for peace but thought better of it because if we don’t work for it will we appreciate it? He asked her about money and she said “Money is only money I can earn it and working for it makes what you get with it all the sweeter so no she doesn’t want that either” He was impressed by my little niece – I always am.

Spending a couple hours after the show with Carolyn the judge for ring two was really nice too. We got to talk about things other than rules and regulations and kids doing this or that.

Sadly, I also saw one of the scariest accidents on horse-back that I have ever seen and I am happy to report that both the horse (a young valuable quarter horse) and the rider a young man (and more valuable than any horse – all human lives are) were both okay. They both walked out of the ring much to my shock. Both were sent to be checked out by their respective doctors but it looked good to me.

Chicken BBQ – nuff said and it had to go right here!

And then before I knew it it’s Sunday afternoon and it is all over, there is such mixed emotions with that. It’s like YAY we survived and we did more than that – we fostered camaraderie, kindness and “sticktuitiveness” within the hearts of the kids. And at the same time it is SHIT another year before we get to do it again.

As I left Sunday afternoon, I stopped closed my eyes and took a deep breath – it’s a long wait before I will go home again.

“I pledge
My head to clearer thinking,
My heart to greater loyalty,
My hands to larger service, and
My health to better living,
For my club, my community, my country, and my world.”


If ever you get the chance on the last consecutive Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in August to go to Westford for a while it’s a cheap day and well there is no place like home – enjoy it!

We have a winner

All the tags were made and waiting for someone to pick a winner

The winner this time was Tricia.

Thanks everyone who played...


You will be getting a small gift in the mail from me early next week.

Cake cake everywhere...

So I am still catching up on posts... I actually have like 3 or 4 more that I am behind on before I can get to current life but fortunately I am doing a whole lot of nothing this weekend so I won't have anything new I wanted to share.

This first set of photos is rather lame BUT I took the whole series just to show you, so show you I will.

I present The making of my father's birthday cake



Filling up the cake pan - so far so good - yes maybe I did use too much Pam


Out of the oven - we are looking good

Awwww crap - now what do I do?

Glue and ignore you say? Okay I can do that!

We are almost done :-)

YAY finished - how bad does the destroyed flower look? Well it's just special and everybody loves special things :-)




And then we come to the corn party.
The corn party is a "block party dressed in yellow" It is really a lot of fun so this year Jim and I were happy to go AND I offered to make the dessert - remember the whole it's a block party dressed in yellow AND the it is a lot of fun? Well... those two things mean there is often a LOT of people so I felt like there needed to be a LOT of cupcakes... And there were! 76 to be exact!!

The baby corn asks his mama corn: Where do baby corns come from? Mama says "I told ya before, the stalk (stork) brought ya.


2 corn cobs were walking downtown and the first cob noticed that they were being followed by another strange cob everywhere they went. The first cob whispered to the second cob "Don't look know but I think we are being followed by a stalker"

Question: What does poisoned corn flakes have in common with Charles Manson?
Answer: They are both Cereal (Serial) Killers.

Q: What do old people and farmers have in common?
A: They’ve both got corns!

Really though I had a great time Jim loved playing rock paper scissors (I was out pretty fast) and give away checkers (apparently you have to lose to win) and then the suitcase throw (practicing to work on an airline I called it) and many many other games. What ALWAYS surprises me most is how easily Tony can get people tlaking... He gets everyone in a huge circle and poses three questions and has everyone answer them either out loud or privately and it's a great ice breaker

This year:
How did you get your name?
Where were you born?
And a job one of your grandparents had?

If you want to answer feel free - I think I will follow Tony's lead and send a prize to one person who answers the questions - On Tuesday I will put names of whoever answers in a hat and send a little token gift :-)

Cancer is scarier than ghouls…

Do you know it takes me longer to think of a title than it does to write a whole post? Well there is a fun fact for you!

So on Saturday the 2nd of August my friend Laura rode the pan mass challenge, she has done it a few times but the last two (prior to this year) I have met her at the end of the ride.

The first year it was in this really odd period in history for my family, Mom was at MGH with a “supposed” brain tumor (We freaking knew it was a brain tumor they just hadn’t told us it was malignant but they wouldn’t even call it a tumor until it was confirmed) as of Friday and then Saturday and Sunday Laura rode. I met her Sunday night with a totally new found respect for what she was doing – she really was saving lives and so much more. I am pretty sure that after biking 180 miles the LAST thing I would want to do is have to deal with a sad Joy on her way back to the hospital but Laura did it with a smile and told me that that’s why she rode, no worries at all. She rode those 180 miles with Mom’s name tattooed to her leg in sharpie and sent good thoughts all the while. I remember (I may have even blogged it) saying that it was Laura’s legs and the beginning of a survivor’s story that kept my “eyes on the prize”. Monday Mom was diagnosed – blah blah…

Last year Laura again rode and I looked forward to meeting her at the end. As we got ready in our heads (because I knew I was babysitting Danielle that night) my mom quietly asked if she could go. OF COURSE OF COURSE OF COURSE (ooops better ask Laura) and so Jim, Danielle, Mom and I met up with Kevin and followed him to the finish line to cheer our hero on. Mom met Laura with a necklace (a dragonfly) and Laura met Mom with a t-shirt, they hugged and again Laura told me THIS is why she rides.


*I need to add in here that I asked Laura for these pictures a couple weeks ago and I am just looking at them for the first time today and I must say that THIS picture (above) is the MOST alive my mom looked after brain surgery in any picture - I love it!!!



Well fast forward another year and we all know what’s up so no point in talking about it. And Laura was riding and in my head I planned on meeting her, I was going to go to Halloween at the camp and then go meet Laura at the end… And as I looked around at the spooks, and creepy crawlies, and ghouls and ghosts, AND EVEN niece’s having temper tantrums the ended with her not being able to celebrate Halloween at all I realized I couldn’t go, that the dark of night and haunted happenings here were a safer place for me. Hell, cancer is scary, but people are changing that future and I hope and pray that someday your kids will think of cancer the way we think of Chicken Pox – a quick shot and nothing to worry about.

I *HIGHLY* suggest checking out Laura’s blog for the story of the PMC
http://truestorieshonestlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/pan-mass-challenge-part-1.html
http://truestorieshonestlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/pan-mass-challenge-part-2.html
And her Goodbye to Grace Marie
http://truestorieshonestlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/pmc-addendum-because-we-still-need-to.html

So I stayed at Halloween 08 and really it was a great time – I am so glad that I did. I got to watch Tyler be a spider and Alicia won the “scariest costume award” and Jim and Christy (though this year I can take some credit for the set up) won best camp-ground.

We stayed until late and toasted Laura at the time we thought she would be crossing (no I didn’t have an alcoholic drink but Jim did – must remember it was Halloween = adult trick or treating)

Happy Halloween to all until next July (though this week it was in August which just messed me up)



Tyler loved having multiple arms - I think he wants to grow a few more now, then he could play and EAT at the same time - something he has trouble with currently

Steffy was a dead pirate and she loved this costume

And Alicia as scary as I have ever seen her

~Last note, I bought the girls their costumes (and Danielle's) mid-November and paid less than $10 for their 3 costumes and mine for this year - not bad, huh? I think Stef's was $2 Alicia's was $2 Danielle's was $4 and mine was $1.50