(LHI chicas let me know what you think)
((This post may not be your cup of tea but it is just where I am at and I was wondering))
The other day I was talking to a friend after another friend of the family passed away and she told me that "the dead don't own us" and it brought to the front of my mind something that has been lingering in the back of my mind for a while.
The thought had originally run through my head when I took a niece to some restaurant with a drive through (can't remember which one though - this was probably in October... I don't see the nieces much anymore these days) and it said "this location is owner operated" and I thought it sounded like "inspected by # 13" (or whatever) BUT it brought to my thoughts who am I owned and operated by? I think at different points in your life you are "owned" by something and right now I am clearly owned and operated by ed... He gets to decide how my days go at this point in my life. I am certain that it is only temporary and I certainly have a great team of people working with me to make sure it is but for now I am owned by him. I recently wrote an entry in my journal about how much ed is a person, he has opinions and demands. He can decide how I am going to live a day without my okay, and honestly if I were reading this I would disagree with me (and say something to the effect of "you are your own person and you make up your own mind on how to deal with your day") but it is odd and true.
But who owns you? Who decides what your days are going to be like? And if you are your own owner how do you manage that and have you ever been owned by a person place or thing (or circumstance)
Monday, April 13, 2009
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3 comments:
what a great post! And thought provoking too. Thanks for writing this. I wonder if maybe instead of thinking about being owned by ed (or anyone/thing else) a way to think about it might be ridden by. People used to say we could be ridden by spirits that made us do things we didn't like, so we could go through ritual or something to make the spirit go away.
THe first and hardest step is admitting that you are not in control. I am proud of you! *hugs*
Ed. The entire time I was reading this I was like: "Who the fuck is this Ed guy??" and then I put it together....I think. Thanks to the tag... Your niece is a sped, and don't you forget it! :D Aunty, I love you. Never forget that. And when Ed comes a-knocking, you give him a piece of your mind, just like you give the drivers a piece of your mind whenever we're going somewhere together (and Abby's NOT in the car ;) . You're my kickass, potty-mouth, fireball of an aunty and I want my kids to see that someday, when we can go for a spontaneous trip and follow our noses to find the best onion rings in town, and eat the gelato that costs an arm and a half just for two scoops, and sit on a park bench by the church Grandmaw and Gramps got married in and watch the giant planes leave snail-trails in the sky. That is one of my favorite memories with you and I want my children to be able to get to know you because, you know, Aunty is there for the things Mom can't do cuz she's Mom. :) I love you Aunty!
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